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What a retarded ad, sirji!

Idea Cellular has been a wannabe cellular network provider for a long time in India. They are perennially the ones lagging far behind in the market share race and for good reason – every Idea mobile subscriber will tell you tales how they don’t get any reception unless they stick their head out of a window at a particular angle when taking phone calls.

The sensible thing to do would have been to invest in more mobile towers – real, tangible stuff that would make a difference. Instead, Idea Cellular went for a strategy Microsoft has adopted for years (before Windows 7 happened) – sink lots of money into retarded advertising campaigns. Over the past few years, using Idea Cellular mobile phones has solved various challenging problems such as illiteracy, caste riots, and obesity.

Emboldened by having tackled such grave issues, Idea has now moved on to saving trees, I hear. They have a new campaign called Use Mobile. Save Paper.

Notice something there? Many of the people trying to save trees are doing so by shifting their reading to iPhones! This is a classic case of the left hand not knowing the fact that the right hand is currently busy jacking off. Somebody forgot to tell Lowe Lintas (the agency which created this ad campaign) that Idea doesn’t sell the iPhone on their network.

Pictured: Idea Cellular not selling iPhone in India

I’m not sure whether Lowe Lintas was the agency behind the other commercials, but it seems that their creative team is permanently high from smelling their own farts. Unless, what they actually wanted to say was “Want to save trees? Why sure, just go and buy a highly overpriced device from two of our biggest competitors!”

One of these days, they’ll come out with a commercial saying something along the lines of ‘using Idea Cellular solves the AIDS problem’. The Nobel committee will then say “What an idea, sirji” and give Abhishek Bachchan a Nobel Peace Prize for being a fucking saint and solving every social issue possible using mobile phones.

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Help Haiti

If you have been following news stories for the past few days, you’d have read about the earthquake in Haiti and the amount of destruction that it has caused. Every now and then, such tragedies strike and at times like these I think it is our collective responsibility to help fellow humans beings out as much as possible.

HAITI-EARTHQUAKE

What is truly shocking is how little aid was able to reach to the island nation in the first few days since the earthquake struck. News reports showing bulldozers piling up corpses and riots over single cans of water make for disturbing viewing.

So choose a charitable organization working in relief operations there, and donate now. Even if it’s a small amount, it counts. A country like Haiti is hit harder because it is so poor and has less resources already. I’ll be donating what I get from part-time work this month to Doctors Without Borders and the World Food Programme operations in Haiti. Take your pick, and donate now.

This brings me a to odd juncture in this blog post. Readers from UK have access to multiple charities they can donate to for the cause (including the ones I mentioned). I initially thought of sharing links to sites where readers from India could donate too. Surprisingly, as far as I see it there isn’t a single website based out of India that allows to donate to emergency relief funds. Not even the Indian Red Cross! (Having a single paragraph saying donations are tax-deductible is useless.)

Well done, Times of India, well done

Furthermore, Indian news sites seem to be paying hardly any attention to this ‘story’. Forget the front page, there isn’t a single reference to the Haiti earthquake on the world news page of hindustantimes.com (when I saw it). And on Times of India’s website, a link to a story on Haiti is buried deep beneath stories about some UN weapons inspector being caught in a sex sting. Times of India then goes to reach heights of tactlessness by displaying keyword ads in its news article for ‘Haiti’ and ’emergency situation’.

At least world leaders are pledging aid and the media is paying attention here. Not so encouraging on the streets, where the attitude here is – to a large extent – “don’t care”. I just hope that enough people chip in, in whatever way they can in times of humanitarian crisis.