In what must truly be one of the biggest *facepalm* moments of my life, I have managed to injure my tail.
I have now successfully defeated millennia of evolution by damaging a useless set of bones – by slipping and falling down a flight of stairs with everything else intact. My doctor seemingly derived sadistic pleasure in mouthing out “Fell…on…buttocks…and…injured…tailbone” as he wrote out my prescription, despite my mumbled protestations that a chemist did not need to know that. More depressing – for the whole of humanity, that is – is that there’s even a medical term for this (somewhat common?) ailment. You’d think that somewhere between chemotherapy and Band-Aid doctors would figure out a solution for vestigial body parts.
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Bear with me on this one. All this talk of human anatomy has reminded me of the sickest, grossest film trailer idea of all time. This is from a film called The Human Centipede, directed by the funnily-named director Tom Six. I suggest you not to click on the previous link, nor watch the following embedded trailer. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I’m serious. Don’t watch it.
There, there. Go back to the wash basin and wait to see if you’ll puke a bit more before coming back to your computer.
The reason why I call it merely a film trailer idea because the actual film doesn’t expand much on the ‘plot’ beyond the trailer at all. It pains me to use such a term for something so crassly glorifying human torture, but the movie is merely boring. A trailer stretched out to fill a feature-length film time.
Terrifyingly, Tom Six is planning a sequel – which he promises will be grosser. What a facepalm movie it’ll be.
14 replies on “*facepalm*”
hahahahahahahahahahahaha
Maybe I shouldn’t be laughing at your misfortune, but I can’t help it, this is just too funny.
Does it hurt?
It hurts a lot! Can’t bend to pick anything up, I’ve to use my toes to try and grab stuff if I do drop anything. I’d be laughing too, if it wasn’t me.
I remember when someone in my class broke his tailbone. He had to carry this red, velvet, tasselled -or at least, it was, in my memories- cushion with him everywhere to sit on.
Bahahahahaha.
I feel for you.
Oh, I don’t have to sit on any tasselled cushions. I haven’t broken any bones as such, I’ve merely damaged the tendons attached to my tailbone.
I don’t want to sound selfish or insensitive but with a non-functioning bum (sorry 😛 ) will you be able to attend CW?
Oh, I can walk around and all – with a bit of trouble, but all right. It’s not as if I’m bedridden. In fact, I’m even going for a vacation to Ooty-Coonoor on Monday. (I’ll be back in the week Code Wars is in.)
I wonder what they mean by “100% Medically Accurate”. It’s gross!
Apparently, it IS 100% medically accurate because they consulted some medical experts. Theoretically, a joined gastric system would be able to pass nutrition.
What would happen if the guy/gal in the front farts? I repeat, it’s gross!
That’s the point! The links in the human chain which come after the first one are supposed get their nutrition by eating the shit of the link in front of them. It makes for many ham-acted lines in the movie along the lines of “EAT…DA…POO!”
Lovely trailer. Thanks for directing your readers to it.
You can’t wait to see the movie now, can you Vivek?
Are you kidding?! I’m torrenting it as I type!
(Actually no. I’m probably never going to bother. There’s this huge list of things I’d rather do, before I’d get down to watching that)
I can give the movie to you, if you want. :p