Categories
Personal Reflections

Be alarmed. Be very very alarmed.

A publicity poster from the Guildford Burough Council
A publicity poster from the Guildford Borough Council

I was about a write a blog post detailing happenings over the past few days, but I have quite a few pictures to share too. Along with the post text it would have made for one long post. So what I decided to do is a post the pictures in this post, and then mention the other stuff in a separate post. Oh, and the image above is to assure you that my cock is, indeed, huge.

"Would you like some syphillis with your Earl Grey, sir?"
"Would you like some syphilis with your Earl Grey, sir?"

I took this photo at a cafe near the town’s main bus centre. Which reminds me that I’m officially a resident of Guildford, now that I have seen the Bearded Lady of Guildford at the bus station. I came to know who she is later; at first I thought I’d seen some cross-dressing man with a beard wearing hiking boots. Brrr.

Alarmed 1

Alarmed 3

Alarmed 2

There is some sort of national conspiracy afoot in UK to have all foreigners drop dead laughing. I can’t stop laughing whenever I come across these umpteen signs saying some inanimate object is ‘alarmed’. I mean, they can put across what they’re trying to some other way, can’t they?

"Dude, like, watch out for that giant fucking tomato while walking will you?"
"Dude, like, watch out for that giant fucking tomato while walking will you?"

Taken during a MAD TV shoot. More on MAD TV and that particular shoot in my next post! Mate of mine tells me that ‘plant’ means ‘machinery’ in this context; after all, we were shooting at the under-construction Surrey Sports Park. I assure folks back in India that I’m not in any immediate danger of being eaten by giant broccoli.

The Lord is never far from you, it seems.
The Lord is never far from you, it seems.

Saw this parked outside the library one day. If you ever stray away from The Path, the Lord is reachable from his 24/7 cabin, right next to Wates House – where you can drop by for a few pints after you’ve been absolved of all your sins. I also met some Mormons.

Henry the Vacuum Cleaner. My housemates tell me that he's good at blow-jobs.
Henry the Vacuum Cleaner. My housemates tell me that he's good at blow-jobs.

Each house in Stag Hill Court (that’s where I stay) gets a vacuum cleaner, in case the housemates want to clean up something if cleaners aren’t scheduled to visit soon. Our vacuum cleaner is named Henry. For some reason this reminds me of Postman Pat. I have no idea why.

Cardboard and paper only
Cardboard and paper only

Look, even out dustbins have names. This is Doris. She likes to be stuffed. You can find her clones all over campus.

Norton Space Shuttle - occupies a shit-load of memory and takes ages to launch
Norton Space Shuttle - occupies a shit-load of memory and takes ages to launch

I don’t know who this belongs to precisely, but it’s one of my housemates. Cuddly little toy. And my housemates are such nice people.

HP Listen2U 1

HP Listen2U 2

HP Listen2U 3

HP toured a select few universities in UK as a part of its Listen2U campaign, on the launch of its dv6 artist edition laptop. They parked this bus outside Chancellors where you could and try out their laptops, jam on Guitar Hero or play Call of Duty : Modern Warfare. Got free HP-branded flip-flops from there too! As a part of the tour, HP sponsored gigs at these universities; at Surrey we had Reverend and The Makers at our student union nightclub Rubix. Apparently they’re chaddi buddies of fellow Sheffield band the Arctic Monkeys and headline gigs of the latter. To be honest, the gig at Rubix was just so-so; quite okay for a free gig. I must say that I like this song called Open Your Window by them quite a lot.

More later!

Categories
Personal Reflections

Happy Diwali

Wish everyone a very happy Diwali. Missing the Diwali (and Durga Puja / Dusshera) festivities here. There’s just a party later today evening hosted by the Indian Students Association at The Living Room (the student union lounge). I reckon the university won’t allow to burst crackers because of fire safety reasons too.

It’s odd you know, I was never enthusiastic about bursting crackers back in India. Partly because it a dick move as far as air pollution is concerned, mostly because I didn’t enjoy the sweet noxious fumes. Here though I’d love to burst some crackers. Odd. Not that I’m particularly homesick, but handling everything from cooking every meal (even if it is canned) to laundry to washing dishes can be quite tiring. Even those who know how to cook don’t want to spend the better part of an hour cooking, only to eat it in a few minutes.

Swearing. That’s one thing that’s sort of frowned upon here. I wonder why. And everyone is so polite. People hold doors open for each other when walking by on campus. Saying thanks to the bus driver when getting off the bus. Rather, “Cheers”.

Among other news, gyaan.in is the official quiz partner for BITS Goa Waves. Do check that page out. It’s planned to be pretty big this time, and even if you aren’t going to Goa (I can’t find a reason why not!) you can participate in the online events. More details on the event on gyaan.in.

Gotta make dinner before heading off the Diwali party in a while. Was working till late last night on editing some stuff for MAD TV; the first episode for this academic year is releasing tomorrow.