‘New and improved’

I went to the optician today to get my eyes checked. Yes, I prefer an automated refractometer (or whatever that thingymajig is called) test done rather than stumble blindly around for one whole day because of those dilatory eyedrops given by ophthalmologists when testing. I got that done only once – when I first got spectacles – and then never again.

I’ve been using Essilor‘s Crizal lenses for quite some time now. Nah, I wasn’t swayed by images of people giving Colgate smiles after wearing those. What I did find interesting was that my optician said that the lenses are ‘scratch-free, dust-free’ and whole bunch of other ‘frees’ (except for the price-tag, which is nowhere near free). But hey, it works. I was happy with is since it really is what all they said.

New and improved is an oxymoronic term (if it’s ‘new’, it can’t have been ‘improved’; if its ‘improved’ then it can’t be ‘new’) often abused by the likes of Cadbury Bournvita marketing executives. So when today I need to choose new lenses (power increased by .5 dioptres), I was very curious when the optician told me that now they had the new and improved Crizal A2 lenses.

Now since Crizal lenses are already (supposedly) ‘scratch-free, dust-free’, what more am I to expect from my Crizal A2 lenses which I ordered? Probably a laser tracking system that shoots down dust particles mid-air. Or maybe the previous one was merely scratch-free, while this one can be used to cut upon bank vaults. Crizal’s India site gives a few clues.

"You can become Superman simply by buying our lenses!"
"You can become Superman simply by buying our lenses!"

If I don’t ge X-ray vision enhancement (I assume that’s what it means) with these new lenses instead of just vision correction, I’m taking them to court. 😀

I’ll slip in something sideways here. I went to the British Council library yesterday to return some books. I was browsing through the shelves to find something new to issue, when I came across this:

iPod and iTunes for Dummies
iPod and iTunes...for *real* Dummies

Steve Jobs will probably have a heart attack if he comes across this book. If you need a fricking manual, scratch that, a fricking for Dummies book to operate an iPod / iTunes then it’s a probably a good indication that either technology is way too complex or that the preson reading the book is from Jajau. Lest you accuse me of Photoshopping the image, check out iPod & iTunes for Dummies at

Speaking of spectacle lenses, it isn’t as if I’ve not tried to switch to contact lenses. Bausch & Lomb allows you to try on their contacts, so I gave it a shot once. A sales assistant is assigned to help you put on the contacts for the first time. Try all I might I just can’t keep my eyes open when the contacts come close to my eye. The sales assistant tried many many times, but each time my eyes started blinking so rapidly that the contacts couldn’t even come close. Half an hour or so later, one sales assistant was trying to hold down my upper eyelid open, a second one was trying to keep my lower eyelid open, while yet another tried to put the contacts on – and failed miserably. I found out that day my eyelid muscles were stronger than hand muscles of grown men and women.

Seems like I won’t be wearing contacts without a whole entourage of people to hold open my eyelids.

PS – One of the artsy-fartsy types found out what a Mission Impossible 3 type start is called; the term I was referring to is ‘in media res‘.

8 replies on “‘New and improved’”

Well, iTunes and iPod for Dummies is actually a good idea. Lets face it 1)iPod/Ipod/I-Pod is a name synonymous with anyone who buys/wants to buy an MP3 player and 2)Syncing songs to it is not for the weak hearted.
You have to take care all songs exist, and in case of library location mismatch, everything just flies from the pod, after syncing.
LOL at Crizal site.

Yes, I think it does. But non-tech people, especially who need stuff like these prefer reading from a book rather than a help file. Of course, I still don’t understand why the book was made in the first place. Its rubbish.

Rs 3000 per year, I think. I don’t know exactly since what I use is the corporate membership card from my dad’s office. Thanks for pointing out the typo!

Are you kidding me? I need an anecdote to justify the book:

I was sleeping peacefully when a girl from my class calls me up and wakes me up. And I mean wakes me up. She says, “Utho utho, I have something very important to ask you.” I get up, expecting her to ask for solutions to the latest computer assignment.
Instead she says that when she types in names of some songs in the iTunes searchbar, she doesn’t get any. That iTunes isn’t displaying Hindi songs. So I asked her to check the spelling etc.
It still didn’t work. I ask her to open her Library and tell me which songs she has in them that she wants. She says it shows 4 songs and named them.

She hadn’t even ADDED the songs to the iTunes library!

bitchmeter pings
Okay, so that’s it really, but you see why these books are needed. 😐

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.